Sunday, April 1, 2012
I was inspired to write this while visiting with one of my daughters a couple of months ago. In her home she had typed up different positive"feel good" words, cut them out, laminated them and put them on a wall in her hallway between the bedrooms, bathroom and living room so that each day the family could see these positive, uplifting words. In her kitchen she had also a framed picture with words that inspired. I thought that was a brilliant idea.
Words are like crystals, they change when viewed from different angles of ones life. We all come from different backgrounds and certain words that were used in one persons while growing up, can be viewed very differently from a spouse or significant other in a relationship, which can create anger, hurt, disdain, and arguments causing disharmony in a home. Everything we do and say in our lives is shaped by our particular life experience
I was discussing this subject with someone the other day, and this person said that she and her husband had talked about the words each had use frequently in their parent's home and what that word meant to them. What they realized was that what one word meant to them wasn't what the other meant at all. It's all about perspective as words trigger concepts, ideas, memories, situations, circumstances, actions, thoughts and feelings from your past. They appear to relate to the subject at hand, but in most cases they have little or nothing to do with the subject at all.
Growing up in a home with two brothers and a father who couldn't complete a sentence without using a swear word. I didn't use swear words but learned to use substitute words such as "darn", "heck" "gosh" etc. I am sure you get the idea. I not only was physically and emotionally abused by a particular member of my family but also was verbally abused. As a protection against hurt, I responded by inappropriate behavior and snapped back with verbal sarcasm. It has taken me years to overcome most of these words and behaviors and yet I still find myself at times in that same protective mode.
Just recently I had an experience with my three year old grandson. As I had picked he and his sister up from daycare and was driving to my granddaughter dance class, I said one of those substitute words. Immediately, my three year old grandson said "Nana, we don't say that word." I told him I was sorry and said "Oh, spaghetti". They both started laughing and we had a good time making it a positive experience. The words of a scripture in Isaiah 11:6 came to my mind, " and a little child shall lead them."
There are other people who can't get through a sentence without using the word "like". It is difficult to concentrate on what they are saying when they use that word several time in a sentence. It would be wonderful if our society could get back to a more pure language.
Then there is the word "WHY", which is a word we need to use in asking questions. So how can "why" be a negative word? Have you ever been asked "why" you did a certain thing when you have no idea why you did it yourself? How does it make you feel? Do you feel like you are being judged, or being treated like a child? How do you react to that statement? Do you take on a helpless role thinking “I never do anything right” or do would you simply withdraw from the situation thinking“okay, whatever”. Most of the time it is how the question was asked,what body language or intonation of their voice that was used and most likely the person who asked the questions has no idea, it was offensive.
Words are Powerful. Our children are faced everyday when they go to school by put downs and verbal abuse.I have seen this starting with three and four year old children. The only defense we have is to make our homes a safe haven. We can do this by choosing our words wisely so we build, encourage, and inspire those we love as well as anyone we come in contact with.
No comments:
Post a Comment